Being a White Female Millennial Business Owner, Reinventing Oneself, and Worthiness with Kayla Wright, Director of Marketing, Kite + Dart Group

00:00.00 | kitedart | Hello, everybody. Karen Bartlett from the Kite + Dart Group here on the Now & Center podcast.
00:13.62 | kitedart | Today I would like to welcome someone I'm so so so excited to have her here. Actually this is kayla right with us today and she is 1 of my business partners at the Kite + Dart Group. So kayla thank you so much for taking the time to chat with me in a different context and welcome to now and center.
00:29.21 | Kayla Wright | Thank you so much for having me karen I'm super excited to be here today.
00:32.80 | kitedart | Yeah, it's gonna be fun. Um I guess the first thing I'd love to ask you to do to start off with is just talk a little bit about your company our company and and really I'd love for you. You know say what you want to say about Kite + Dart and then I'd also just love you to encourage. I'd love to encourage you to share about like the difference that you're really committed to creating through your work and you also do other things. So if you want to share about that feel free.
00:59.85 | Kayla Wright | Yeah, thank you? Um, so Kite + Dart  is basically a business consultancy like as an overarching termum I guess but we work with small businesses and entrepreneurs to help them grow and improve their businesses and we. Tend to work with impact-driven entrepreneurs that are looking to use their business to make some sort of impact in the world and I head up the marketing department and 1 of my biggest goals through marketing is to change the way that marketing is. Done and allow it to be a way for people to share themselves and their stories and connect with others on that basis and find aligned clients through shared values instead of how marketing is traditionally done which is basically just. Convincing people to buy from you so I just would really like to see a world where human humans are back in business and businesses were human centric instead of conversion centric um I also train horses as part of. Part of my thing I grew up riding and I lived in new zealand maryland and florida thanks to my riding career and in 2019 I had have so note 20202020 I had to have hip surgery. And it was career ending and so I started a marketing agency in the middle of a pandemic while I was recovering from hip surgery. So that's like my my little badge of honor that I get to wear and then I came to Kite + Dart  as a client and now it is now I'm now I am Kite + Dart .
02:45.51 | kitedart | I Love that I am Kite + Dart . I amKite + Dart . We are Kite + Dart . But I love that that's hilarious. Um, it's it's.
02:45.81 | Kayla Wright | Over the fish.
02:50.10 | Kayla Wright | I am Kiten dart you are Kiten Dar We are all kitten dart.
03:01.46 | kitedart | I I I appreciate just that story like I'm glad that you share that part of it and in a couple different ways like 1 is just how um I think sometimes people um think you know like they are their experience so to speak you know and and experience matters. But. But like we can be these like multi-talented complex humans who have these different interests different facets of the work that we do and I do think that that's 1 thing that we see at kite and dart with our clients is people who really have you know, just these multi-talented humans who do all these different things and. And I really love and appreciate that and and the encouragement to bring all of themselves to the table. Um, even when they seem disconnected because they aren't disconnected like just because it doesn't fit into a nice neat box that the world wants us to be in that. Um. That that bringing your whole self like adds so much to what you do Um, and you know you bring up things at different times right from your horse training that is applicable over here and and I think that's super cool. Yeah, and um, yeah, yeah.
04:00.67 | Kayla Wright | Totally.
04:08.34 | Kayla Wright | Oh yeah, yeah yeah, creating horses is very applicable.
04:16.22 | kitedart | I mean I feel the same way like rankling children in school is not all that different sometimes than the work that I do so um, no so I appreciate that and then also I um I love your just general badassery that you're like. I'm gonna start a business in the middle of a pandemic. Um, while I'm Bedridden like just that's some awesome gumption. So Bravo I also appreciate that both of us came to kit and dart as clients before we became partners here I think it it gives us a unique, um.
04:50.10 | Kayla Wright | The.
04:54.87 | kitedart | Perspective on the work that we do and I think it also really attests to the impact of this work right of the collective body of work and um. Because we were impacted by it by by it and and now we're sharing it. So um, super different experiences but I appreciate that that we both have that lens.
05:14.19 | Kayla Wright | Um, yeah, yeah.
05:23.90 | Kayla Wright | Yeah, and I think the fact that it was different experiences is important to you know we didn't we didn't come in at the same time even we came in to basically 2 different businesses teaching the same thing so it's cool to see that.
05:28.66 | kitedart | Yeah.
05:38.91 | kitedart | Yeah, yeah, and then I also just want to acknowledge you and thank you for the impact that you've had on kite and dart. Um, both internally just being part of the team like ah you know I love collaborating with you all the time like I feel like we have such a reciprocal. Um, relationship in terms of supporting 1 another and being thought partners and and you know I just think that you've brought a lot not only to me but to nate to the whole team. Um, and and the expanded. Ah. Perspective repertoire talent skills for the marketing piece of it right? because even though I um, what's the word I like can why can I think of the word um embrace. There we go even though I embrace marketing from the perspective that we teach right after being super was resistant to it before kite and Dart. Um I really embrace marketing from the way that we help folks relate to it. But. I I still it still is that place that I don't know I guess I still kind of grapple with the implementation piece of it a lot and and then and I just think you've brought so much to the team. Um, and to what we can offer to our clients. So thank you, thank you? Thank you.
07:02.10 | Kayla Wright | Thank you that 1 ne's very kind of you I'm blashing.
07:06.37 | kitedart | Well I I know I did a testimonial recording earlier and I was like gosh everybody should have to get testimonials because it's so like I'm validating I'm like gosh. Yeah I know.
07:13.65 | Kayla Wright | Um, thank you I try really hard.
07:22.80 | kitedart | Like no I do I do appreciate it so much. Um, it's it's just been really awesome and um I know it wasn't necessarily the easiest decision and I I just appreciate that you. That you? How intentionally right? How intentionally you? how intentional you were about making the decision to come and then just you know what? you've brought. So. Thank you? Um, so with that I would love to. I would love to dive in more right and and your journey has been really different and unique. Um I'd love to have you share what some of the really challenging things have been along your journey. Of starting and running your own business and and you know that can be with venture marketing where you started um and into your work with Kitentart as well.
08:22.80 | Kayla Wright | Yeah, so when I first started with venture marketing. Um I found myself in the same room as a lot of white men and oftentimes I I got marketing explained back to me by. You know men that ran construction businesses and um I also found that a lot of the times I would get people that were like oh yeah, let's grab a coffee and talk about like business and I think I did that 1 time. And like they were not interested in talking about business at all and I was like oh my god I don't like I'm not doing this yeah and so for me 1 of the biggest struggles that I ran into was just not being taken seriously as a business owner and um like I even had.
09:03.71 | kitedart | O.
09:18.13 | Kayla Wright | So A lot of my marketing experience had been from when I was living in New Zealand and working with a really good friend of mine and she kind of taught me a lot about it and so I had people that were like well you don't have any experience in the Us and I'm like that doesn't it What like I don't. I Don't know why that matters to you? Um, and so I I kind of had to teach myself to have that confidence when so many people were just telling me and refusing to take me seriously um I can only assume by the way that I looked judging by the fact that I was getting like date requests.
09:38.19 | kitedart | Man.
09:56.21 | Kayla Wright | In my Linkedin inbox and emails of men insisting that we meet for coffee and they wouldn't talk to me over Zoom I Just you know thought I'd say yeah and it's it's just so inappropriate and I I Also when I would start I decided.
10:03.90 | kitedart | Ah, it's so gross. It's so gross.
10:14.97 | Kayla Wright | To make the decision to start calling men out publicly for doing that so I was making like Linkedin posts and just calling people out on it and I had so many women commenting on it white women that were like a polite no would suffice. You don't have to do this and I was like. Shouldn't have to say no in the first place like this shouldn't be happening. It's not okay, like just because your wife doesn't check your linkedin dms doesn't mean you can go dming girls on linkedin because it was always older men and so.
10:44.12 | kitedart | Yeah.
10:49.51 | Kayla Wright | It was interesting to me to have a lot of women pushing back on what I was doing instead of being like yeah this is disgusting they were like well why didn't you just say no I'm like I did say no and I'm publicly shaming. Yeah.
11:01.73 | kitedart | Yeah, oh my gosh it goes to show you though, just the extent to which right the internal internalized depression right of like that. It's not even like it was other white men doing it who were who were like why are you doing this.
11:11.71 | Kayla Wright | And here.
11:20.54 | kitedart | But that it was women who were saying why are you doing this. You don't have to do that. So wow I didn't know that.
11:21.99 | Kayla Wright | Ranks.
11:25.13 | Kayla Wright | Yeah, yeah, and I even went as far. Yeah I went as far as to put in the first I don't think I still have it there but I went as far as to put in my linkedin bio like. If you dm me for like a day I will screenshot it and share it and I'm not blocking out your name like there was a warning and people were still doing it. They're like oh I read your bio and I'm like now you didn't I know you didn't so that was a good time. I would scream I had a screenot of my bio that I would then send back to them and then screenshot the conversation and put it on the internet. Yeah.
11:58.34 | kitedart | Wow, Yeah, just Ick So it. Oh my gosh I was reading something Um, just this morning actually and it was referencing back to you know the me too and all of that and it's just I Just ah. Can't It's so not Ok. It is so not appropriate and I appreciate you for well like I said I know you're a bad ass and I even though I didn't know that specific story I Appreciate the badassery involved and um I'm curious to know because I think.
12:19.34 | Kayla Wright | Milk.
12:26.72 | Kayla Wright | Thanks.
12:34.32 | kitedart | Probably most women right are are going to say um or at least the ones maybe who responded in that way are like you don't have to call that out. You don't have to do that that way you can just say no and and I really do think that That's that internalized depression so used to being seen as.
12:49.10 | Kayla Wright | Um, yeah.
12:53.14 | kitedart | Ah, there for men's pleasure shall we say and um and I and I think that in addition to that. There's probably a lot of women who would be afraid to call that out because.
12:55.81 | Kayla Wright | Rank.
13:11.99 | kitedart | And they'd be afraid that they could lose business from it right? they could it would have that negative repercussion I'm curious to know your experience with that. Um, from that standpoint.
13:15.23 | Kayla Wright | Rave? yeah.
13:22.48 | Kayla Wright | Um I have no idea if I lost business from it but I will say that I have no desire to work with someone that just wants to work with me because they think I'm pretty um I mean I did I had I had women that were like oh your profile picture is not professional enough like. It doesn't Matter. It doesn't like it doesn't Matter. It could be naked in my profile picture and it still wouldn't matter and I I Just you know I think from that point of view and I had men. Obviously when they got rejected they were like well you're just not professional and whatever. Um.
13:42.83 | kitedart | Now.
14:00.65 | Kayla Wright | But I'm also the type of person that will like if a guy buys me a drink at a bar and I find out that they're like married or otherwise involved like I'm prepared to like fight someone like that stuff drives me insane. So like I guess I'm just I might just be more aggressive about it. But. I mean I'm sure I did lose business. But what I don't want to be harassed, especially when someone's paying you because I think people that have that bias and come in and think like I'm paying you I own you I'm going to treat you However I want.
14:33.10 | kitedart | Yeah, that's so gross. So so totally not okay and and I think you're right that that you know there's a lot of people in business who have fomo right? They've got fear of missing out and they don't want to alienate anybody and I think.
14:35.56 | Kayla Wright | Yeah, so.
14:52.23 | kitedart | Your perspective and again I think this is why you fit in so well over here around kit and dart is just that right that that you don't want that business. Those people who don't align with your values and your commitments you don't want their business Anyway, they're not going to be good clients for you and you're not going to be a good consultant for them. Um I think that that's really important. And it's unbelievable to me that that and it's not unbelievable. Not That's the wrong word for it. It is believable but it's so out of alignment that a man can be hitting on you under the pretense of business.
15:23.84 | Kayla Wright | Yeah.
15:31.65 | kitedart | And then call you unprofessional for how you respond to that but they're but they're professional and that privilege and entitlement is just not Okay, yeah.
15:32.93 | Kayla Wright | Um, yeah, yeah, right. Our pocket. Yeah.
15:46.40 | kitedart | Out of pocket there we go and and I I do it I tend to want to say unbelievable, but it's completely and totally believable and in our society so not surprising or shocking but just wow.
15:50.42 | Kayla Wright | Oh yeah, yeah, Absolutely yeah I mean the world. The world is abundant and you don't need to be so open for business that you will accept anything that comes your way I'm a firm believer in. That how something starts is usually how it is maintained. So if you start a relationship with a client and it's not going. Well it'll probably say that way.
16:18.16 | kitedart | Yeah, yeah, so true. So true. Yeah I and I think that this is just a great point too that for anybody listening to this conversation if you take anything from this conversation right? like. Standing up for that alignment with the people that you're working with and making sure that you that your values align that your commitments align and not not taking that kind of shit um from anybody like and boy I know in my first business.
16:43.84 | Kayla Wright | Yeah, yeah.
16:51.76 | kitedart | I had my very first client in my very first business. Ah that I had like way overstepped those bounds not and not in a male female way but just in an entitled way and it it was a forever constant battle.
17:02.99 | Kayla Wright | Yeah.
17:08.42 | kitedart | With that client Intel I finally was like okay this is not working but it took me a while because it was total total fomo and it took me a while. So I love that you're just yeah yeah.
17:11.00 | Kayla Wright | Um, yeah, of course yeah you want to get your business off the ground you accept anything but ah like my first client I made a mistake in accepting them. It took me almost 2 months to get the second half of what they owed me.
17:27.47 | kitedart | Um, yeah.
17:29.40 | Kayla Wright | After I did more work than I had promised so and I should have known because it took them 6 weeks to pay me the first time I should have known you know I should have known but I learned.
17:34.73 | kitedart | Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally so True. So true. Um, well and so 1 of the the other questions I wanted to ask you about or topics I wanted to talk about, but it's already kind of come up just is this like. Um, you know now and Center is all about centering different voices that haven't historically really been the narrative in business. Um, centering those voices and so as a woman as a millennial like I I was curious to hear how that's impacted your experience as a business owner. I Think you've already shared quite a lot around there I don't know if there's anything else. Um, anything else there that you feel like really impacted you.
18:19.79 | Kayla Wright | Um, yeah I think that I I made an assumption that because of my age I wasn't going to be taken seriously and I definitely did see that for sure and also I I think it held me back a bit. Having that assumption because I didn't want to talk about what I was doing because I didn't want to be another yeah like conventionally attractive millennial white girl trying to start a business on the internet they're everywhere and a lot of them are scams and.
18:39.44 | kitedart | And.
18:52.79 | kitedart | Now.
18:56.58 | Kayla Wright | A lot of them don't actually like need to run a business you know and I think I didn't talk about what I was doing for fear of looking like that for fear of looking like the people that I was already judging based off of what they were doing so. You know that was definitely something that I wish I had gone over sooner. Um that I had worked through sooner but at the end of the day you know it's that conditioning's hard and. You see people not taking people with your characteristics seriously, So then you kind of don't take yourself seriously and I I think that's kind of I was stuck in that swirling like no 1 on the internet takes these millennial girls seriously for the businesses that they're Starting. So no, 1 Ne's going to take mine seriously and therefore I didn't take mine seriously myself if that made any sense.
19:45.40 | kitedart | Um, yeah, it did it did and I it's It's so um, it's so just that like ball right of like implicit bias and um, judgment. Whether it be outward judgment or self- judgment right? that that and I appreciate. Youre even saying yeah like I'm judging them from what I'm seeing and and I'm judging myself and then I'm worried about being judged in the same way I'm judging them and right it's all like well so I'm curious to hear then like what do you think.
20:11.89 | Kayla Wright | Right? Yep yeah.
20:20.12 | kitedart | Um, really helped you to move through that. Um, and maybe I I don't I don't mean to imply that necessarily you're done moving through it I'm not saying you're not I'm just saying like but it sounds like you've clearly felt progress. So what has allowed you to have the progress that you've had.
20:36.99 | Kayla Wright | Um, yeah, I'm definitely not done moving through it I don't think I ever will be and I think that for me realizing that my story could have impact on people not just people that look like me but just people in General. Um. You know if there's someone who's young and losing their career that they've been working on their whole life being able to kind of stand out as like it's not the end of the world. It feels like it. But it's not and um, understanding that like.
21:07.46 | kitedart | Ah.
21:15.68 | Kayla Wright | There is a way to build the life that you are wanting to build for yourself and it it definitely doesn't look like what you think it's going to look like but there is still a way to build that I mean I'm I'm fortunate in the sense that I've had opportunities to do that my entire life. Um, and I do want to say that I have created a lot of them nothing fell into my lap. Um I created a lot of them and even though I I like to say that they just kind of happened. They didn't um when I look Back. You know what? I mean like.
21:50.64 | kitedart | Yeah.
21:52.57 | Kayla Wright | Like to say that I just happened upon Kittan darp but really I got referred around to 6 different people and then I met nate's wife and then I met nate and then I was in the coursework you know so there was intentionality there for sure on my part and I think that. Being able to share with people that you can create those things is what allows me to start talking about it because i. Ah, even if there's just like 1 person in the world that's in a pit of despair because they are also 24 have lost their entire career that they've worked.
22:11.74 | kitedart | Ah.
22:26.34 | Kayla Wright | Past 20 years for um, like that's a dark place. It's not fun. So if I can help someone work through that and find a new purpose then um, that's you know I don't care if anyone judges me at that point.
22:41.45 | kitedart | Um, yeah.
22:43.58 | Kayla Wright | And it's still hard to talk about like I have a really hard time being like yeah I've done cool shit.
22:47.85 | kitedart | Yeah, yeah, Ah so rich I Love I Love to like and maybe maybe it's like as you say like I Love how much how rich your experience has been at the age of 24 right? And And I'm 50 right? and it's it's like maybe these things are cyclical or I don't know because I um and I don't mean that in a like that someone who's 24 can't know what you know or that's not what I'm trying to say I'm just saying that. Um, you've already learned a lot of lessons that. I didn't learn tell later and then I'm also like but I it I probably did learn some of them back then and then I had to relearn them and I had to relearn them again and then I had to relearn them again because evidently I'm a difficult student I don't um.
23:32.87 | Kayla Wright | Um, right? yeah.
23:42.15 | kitedart | Because I I just kind of saw myself reflected in that and thinking about different places along my journey where I felt that and been really confronted by and challenged by um, you know, losing what I thought was this thing.
23:48.63 | Kayla Wright | If.
23:58.41 | kitedart | Super super important and how do you? Um, how do you bounce back from that and how and to your point that we do create we are constantly creating those next steps and and the thing is is that like when we're doing it. We don't always know.
24:10.33 | Kayla Wright | Um, yeah.
24:16.47 | Kayla Wright | Um, yeah.
24:16.57 | kitedart | That we're doing it and sometimes we're intentional and sometimes we aren't but even when we are intentional. We sometimes don't realize what the outcome's going to be if you would have asked me when did I leave my job. Well I started my business a little over 5 years ago and then I left.
24:24.88 | Kayla Wright | Now.
24:35.40 | kitedart | Teaching I left the classroom a little over 4 years ago and at that point I would have never thought that I would be here doing what I'm doing now and I also created it all. So yeah, it's it's funny, but it's harder when you're sitting.
24:42.90 | Kayla Wright | Um, yeah, yeah.
24:52.18 | kitedart | In it to like see it.
24:53.21 | Kayla Wright | It's hard. It's hard when you're sitting in it. It's really hard and I think for me I mean so when I was living in new zealand we had I had horrible family incidents drama happen back at home and honestly that taught me. That like getting through things is a decision and I know that sounds privileged and I'm aware that you know I guess for me, it was a decision because I could have gone well I did I went home for a month and I could have let that end. My journey to the career that I wanted right? then in there and as a teenager I had to look at myself in the mirror and go like your family's drama is your family's drama and and you can handle that here and you're like you're gonna be okay and you can do that here.
25:33.44 | kitedart | 1
25:43.99 | kitedart | Ah.
25:49.67 | Kayla Wright | And I think ever since then I've learned and that's not to say that I don't like feel things or get upset about things or what have you but I just kind of learned that like getting through it was a choice and it took effort I'm not saying I was just like yeah I'm fine. And then mental toughness got me through it like I felt everything and I was like no I'm I'm going to keep moving and I think that that was ah a lesson that like isn't fair that anyone in the whole wide world has to learn you know like that's just sad.
26:11.16 | kitedart | Ah.
26:22.88 | Kayla Wright | But at the same time it allowed me to ebb and flow with everything that's been thrown at me even over the past two years two years ago I was like riding horses full time. You know? yeah.
26:29.54 | kitedart | Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, lots changed. Yeah I it I think I think this is something that Nate said to me once I'm I'm not sure if it was nate but I think it was. And I think he was like Karen you are not your emotions and I know that's such a basic thing but I'm like a highly sensitive person I know you're sensitive to intuitive right? like I feel everything very deeply and so I I think.
27:01.50 | Kayla Wright | Um.
27:05.80 | kitedart | I Don't think I realized it but I think for a long time in life I did kind of feel like I was my emotions if that makes sense and so what I some of what I hear you saying there right is that I can have those emotions I can feel those emotions but I'm not those emotions they're going to flow in and out.
27:12.66 | Kayla Wright | Yeah.
27:23.17 | Kayla Wright | Yeah.
27:25.27 | kitedart | Um, or up and down or however, they flow um, swirling around but but having that resilience to know that 1 you know you can choose to and again I get privilege right? Privilege is always there right in some capacity.
27:40.57 | Kayla Wright | Yeah, yeah.
27:44.75 | kitedart | Depending on whatever things right? but but that also we can be resilient and we can choose to get through it and and that there is a in a certain amount of that that is a choice So I appreciate that perspective a lot.
27:46.80 | Kayla Wright | Yes.
27:58.18 | Kayla Wright | Absolutely yeah, yeah, and I also I refuse to not feel because I think feeling is ah is a privilege you know and I think that um. Having the space feel to feel emotions fully is a privilege because not not everyone has that opportunity and I'm fortunate that my mom really encouraged that growing up. Um, so for me like I refuse to not feel and that's been hard in like relationships whether they're you know.
28:22.40 | kitedart | Love.
28:31.73 | Kayla Wright | Platonic friend relationships romantic relationships business relationships fortunately with you and naep I've never felt like I shouldn't feel but in the past it's been like that you know like people it it causes issues to like why are you so emotional I'm like you.
28:43.24 | kitedart | Oh yeah.
28:50.46 | Kayla Wright | Fester on this for six weeks whereas I've like cried for forty five minutes yelled at the pillow and went for a walk and I'm I'm like I felt it I'm good I'm moving. It's not like that every time but you know yeah.
28:59.49 | kitedart | Um, yeah, yeah, darn yeah no, that makes sense I said that too I think I said that to 1 of my clients a couple weeks ago about like you know it's okay to feel all the feels.
29:08.45 | Kayla Wright | Not every time.
29:15.79 | Kayla Wright | Here.
29:17.49 | kitedart | And something to that effect and she's like oh my gosh can I Totally quote you on that I was like I don't know that I made that up but like I'm sure somebody else did and I heard it or whatever but it it. Um I Do think it's important right? that that even in business I think that employment. Right? Having a job I think that when you have a job people expect you to compartmentalize right? and and and it kind of goes to that work life balance idea right? like that that that there's the work you and there's the personal you and there might be your family you and these other yous and it's like we are holistic humans all the time.
29:43.94 | Kayla Wright | Um, yeah.
29:52.81 | kitedart | And being expected to check all of the feels at the door when you go to work is insane. Really it just it makes no sense. Yeah, and I find that that my emotions are very much a.
29:59.60 | Kayla Wright | Yeah, it's not healthy. It's not okay, yeah.
30:10.41 | kitedart | Ah, guide or like signposts right? to how I'm feeling in business gives me information about how much in alignment I am and how on track I I am and when I deny that then I kind of keep doing something that's not working for me or as if I go oh huh.
30:19.18 | Kayla Wright | Um, yeah.
30:27.62 | Kayla Wright | Yep.
30:29.57 | kitedart | That's not feeling so good. Maybe I need to take a look at that and change something and that I don't have to change me I can change the thing you know, um, that's super powerful and I think an empowering and yeah, super empowering. Yeah.
30:36.70 | Kayla Wright | Nope yeah.
30:43.43 | Kayla Wright | I agree I agree.
30:48.70 | kitedart | No awesome I love that thank you? So okay, last time out last there's kind of another last. But um I love to always kind of um, almost last I love to um, bring in a little bit of coaching right? and so you've shared so much about your story and I think that your story is really.
30:53.55 | Kayla Wright | Okay.
31:06.59 | kitedart | Think it's a really great story and I think it can be really enlightening and helpful to folks. So thank you for being willing to share it and um I asked you to think about something that you may be currently grappling with and so we could maybe have a little coaching conversation to offer a little more value to the listeners. So.
31:23.88 | Kayla Wright | Yeah, um, so recently I've been struggling a lot with I had R V a Taylor asked me to reach out for testimonials and I am having a hard time and I think this conversation of.
31:25.55 | kitedart | What are you thinking about.
31:43.72 | Kayla Wright | Self worth and the worth of your work and things like that has been coming up a lot for me and so I think that would be a great topic.
31:51.00 | kitedart | Okay, nice I like it and it's in it does feel very related to the growth that you've already had right? like yeah, it's it say it's the same thing but like um.
32:01.16 | Kayla Wright | Yeah, weird right.
32:09.54 | kitedart | And maybe maybe this is a little ah let me just clarify if this is sort of part of the context because I know that um your business has has really picked up and so I'm wondering if part of this. It has to do with like even thinking about what you're charging and that right like once sometimes we charge less in the beginning and then we start raising our rates right? The fuller we get I don't know if that is tying into this at all or if it's really more About. Kind of asking for the testimonials or maybe both I don't know.
32:46.61 | Kayla Wright | I think I think for me, it's like um so a great example is that a lot of times when I get a compliment I'll have an intrusive thought immediately. That's like oh they just don't know.
32:57.31 | kitedart | Um, oh okay.
33:02.51 | Kayla Wright | They don't know that you're not good. They don't know that you that you have no idea what you're doing like that that type of thing is what gets me. It's what trips me up the most and then that ties into like charging people and all of those things.
33:15.88 | kitedart | God it got it. Got it. Got it. Okay, cool. So I'm curious I think the first thing I would ask is when you think right? This could because the beginning part of this conversation was. Around and and maybe it was more around identity than your actual work and how the quality of your work. But what allowed you to have the growth that you've already had we've already kind of talked about it but like.
33:46.33 | Kayla Wright | Um, okay.
33:53.19 | kitedart | If you think about what's allowed you to already have the growth that you've had how can that apply here.
33:57.36 | Kayla Wright | Um, I think that kind of idea of just do it anyway and also um, looking outside of myself so you know going back and looking at the results that people have had. Based off of my work that I have done for them and just continuing to talk to myself and be like oh babe. That's not a fluke like you did that it was your ideas and your work that did that it wasn't an accident but I always have the intrusive thought of pulling themst have been a fluke. Even though I can recreate the results you know and I think it's just being aware of what that voice is saying and getting more curious I think about like where that's actually coming from probably.
34:35.71 | kitedart | Ah.
34:47.59 | kitedart | Yeah, yeah, so do you mind getting curious right now and digging into that like where do you think that's coming from and you may not want to share on public Podcast Radio world. Whatever you call it.
34:56.69 | Kayla Wright | Um, yeah.
35:05.76 | Kayla Wright | I Don't get podcast land. No I'm happy to get curious about it. Um I think that a lot of it stems from I think Okay, so for instance, a lot of the times.
35:06.69 | kitedart | Ah, him podcast land. Ah I don't know what it's called.
35:24.74 | Kayla Wright | And maybe I could be wrong, but in the in the jobs that I've held like in riding horses I had like a lot of people would take credit for the work that I had done Um, all of the time and so I'm not sure if that's part of it. It shouldn't be.
35:37.00 | kitedart | Ah.
35:43.39 | Kayla Wright | But I'm wondering if that's something something that has to do with it where I've never really taken credit for my own work I've always like given credit to an outside source and even like with my clients right now with my horses like there. They'll text me and be like oh my gosh I did this with this first day and it went' really well like thank you and I'm like oh oh it just must have been the weather was good. You know like I can't even confidently take right right? I can't even confidently take that.
36:07.38 | kitedart | Um, the merit bearmatic pressure was.
36:15.69 | Kayla Wright | Even though you could walk down the steps of like the horse was doing this I worked with them. They stopped doing it but it's hard. It's hard because I a lot of times people say. Thank you so much and I'll be like I didn't do anything what if they find out I didn't do anything but that's also how I felt when I moved to New zealand.
36:24.29 | kitedart | Yeah.
36:34.24 | Kayla Wright | People are all the time like you're so brave I could never do that and I'm like what if they find out that it wasn't that harm all I did was find a job and buy a plane ticket I did 1 of my friends did have to like force me onto the first plane though we're in the airport.
36:39.97 | kitedart | O and.
36:51.27 | Kayla Wright | Her flight she flew from Kansas to colorado to hang out with me before I left and her flight left an hour after mine so she was like sitting at the gate with me and they did the like boarding call and she was like okay bye and I just sat there and she was like no really bye and I was like. Yeah I'm not doing this so that was the only time that was the only time that I was like what have you done. But other than that I was just like everyone always asked me how I did it and I was like there's ah this.
37:10.84 | kitedart | Um I Love that.
37:17.67 | kitedart | Yeah.
37:25.89 | Kayla Wright | Beautiful website called Air New Zealand where you can buy flights like that's how I did it I didn't fly there myself if that's what you're asking. Yeah well no.
37:28.28 | kitedart | Yeah. Right? I typed in some things. Yeah well still I I'd love to pull 2 things out from there like 1 is that. That I think that we're conditioned to believe that anything worth having. We have to struggle to get there. We have to struggle to to have it right? We have to prove our worthiness. We have to pay our dues. We have to right? we have to struggle and toil and then we can have it.
37:57.77 | Kayla Wright | In here.
38:08.83 | kitedart | And and so um and I know that you I know that you know this right? because this is part of our philosophy at Kiten dart but that we don't We don't have to struggle and toil to get there and that actually struggling our way to ease doesn't work very well. Um. You know, sad in our way to happy doesn't work. Well and so I think that remembering that when things flow easily when things are are easy that a lot of times that just really means it's really in alignment for us right. And it doesn't mean that every time something's hard. It's out of alignment. That's not that's not what I'm saying but that you know using our natural talents and abilities and skills and and passions and things like that work should kind of feel good like I Love what I do on a day to day Basis. It fills me. It doesn't.
38:51.53 | Kayla Wright | Is it.
39:04.53 | Kayla Wright | Yeah, yeah, yeah.
39:07.36 | kitedart | Feel hard. Um some days it does and certain things do. But mostly when I'm working with clients. It doesn't feel hard. You know? um so that's 1 thing and then the other thing and again I know that you know this but like.
39:14.30 | Kayla Wright | Now. Yeah.
39:23.29 | kitedart | This has really helped me a lot is coming from right? How we're always using that lens of looking at um, white dominant patriarchal culture right? is that for me when I have that self-doubt I used to then beat myself up for it and be like what's wrong with you that you can't. Just say. Thank you? What's wrong with you that you can't just accept that you offered something of value right? So Not only can I not take the compliment or realize that I actually had a positive impact but then I beat myself up for that and just remembering that that is part of a colonial culture. Um.
39:42.32 | Kayla Wright | Great.
39:58.60 | Kayla Wright | Um, through whose yeah.
40:01.21 | kitedart | That is intended to keep people down and for me that's been really liberating. So even when I do it but then it's like ah ah you can't get me like Nope you know and it's it feels a little bit like a you know I don't know an opportunity to like.
40:09.28 | Kayla Wright | Because yeah.
40:19.78 | kitedart | Be like yeah you almost got me but you didn't I don't know if that's helpful. Yeah, right? like yeah well I And and again I know it's a journey right? It's ongoing I think that.
40:23.37 | Kayla Wright | Jokes on you? Yeah no, Both of those are very helpful I appreciate them. Thank you. Such a journey.
40:36.60 | kitedart | Self-doub imposter syndrome all of those things I think run very deep in a lot of us. But I do think it's very much steeped in in ah, an oppressive dominating culture. Um, okay so this I have 1 last thing for you. Thank you for your vulnerability on that I do really appreciate it. Um.
40:45.70 | Kayla Wright | Um, yeah, okay, yes.
40:55.45 | kitedart | Lightning round or whatever like 1 quick 1 minute thing would you share you know that that we talk about entrepreneurial activism all the time. So would you just share a quick thirty Second 1 minute thing about what that means to you.
40:55.80 | Kayla Wright | Um, yeah.
41:02.60 | Kayla Wright | Death. Totally um to me entrepreneurial activism is using your business to make an impact so a lot of the times people who are focused on mission and impact feel guilty about making money. So for me. Um, shifting the lens to revenue as a direct reflection of your impact is entrepreneurial activism to me because instead of being focused on wealth hoarding you're focused on what can I do. Like the more money they I make the more I can do so in my mind that's what entrepreneurial activism is. It's not only a desire to create some sort of social change. But it's a driving factor in Biz dev and sales and marketing and it's what keeps you going instead of just being like I want to make more money so I can buy more stuff. But there's nothing wrong with that in my opinion. There's nothing wrong with that I just think that entrepreneurial activists are people that want to use it to do something.
42:09.66 | kitedart | Awesome! Thank you for sharing that. Thank you so much for being here and talking with me. It's always of course I love every single second we ever talk. So thank you for being on the podcast and sharing your story and experience.
42:17.58 | Kayla Wright | And you don't yeah. Thank you for having me.
42:28.37 | kitedart | It's been a pleasure.